The seller for today’s Nice Price or No Dice 911 RTurbo warns “no test drives without secured funds.” So, don’t go getting all excited about getting behind the wheel for free. Let’s see if it’s worth securing the funds needed.

In The Blues Brothers, Elwood picks up his brother Jake outside of Joliet Prison in a Dodge Monaco that was once a police cruiser. Having just been incarcerated for a crime that he most definitely did commit, this upsets Jake to no end. It gets even worse when Elwood tells Jake that he got the car in trade for a microphone.

At $12,995, the 2011 Ford Expedition XLT Police Interceptor we looked at yesterday certainly cost a lot more than a microphone, and that price had most of you singing the blues in the comments. In the end, all the big beast could manage was a 70 percent No Dice loss.

Speaking of law enforcement, if you’re going to have the cops chase you, you will want to have a fast car. After all, there’s nothing more boring to watch than one of those O.J. Simpson-style low-speed chases. Now to be clear, you should never actually engage in any such shenanigans. Truth be told, you can’t outrun a Motorola.

Link up The Sony LinkBuds Truly Wireless Earbuds are incredibly small and light, making them super comfortable, have a batter life of up to 5.5 hours with an addition 12 hours thanks to the charging case, they’re IPX4 splash-proof and sweat-proof, can be controlled via touch, and use a special design to allow you to hear other sounds when you need to.

Still, we like fast cars. And, with 550 horsepower on tap from its RUF-massaged twin-turbo 3.6-liter flat-six, this 2001 Porsche 911 Turbo should be plenty quick. A stock 996 Turbo of the time made 414 horses so the RUF rowdiness adds over 30 percent more punch to the party bowl. As validation of the added ponies, the 911’s ad includes a picture of the work’s certification by the RUF Auto Centre in Dallas, Texas. According to that, the engine work was completed when the car had 37,359 miles on the clock. It now has 66,000 miles and appears to do a pretty good job of hiding those miles and its advancing age.

The bodywork is in black which pairs well with the handsome set of Turbo Twist wheels the car wears. Those are mounted with Michelin meats and offer a peek-a-boo view of the red-painted brake calipers behind. The seller notes some “light scratches” in the paint but it doesn’t seem anything major enough to be evident in the pictures.

Inside, there’s been a repair to the passenger seat and the factory wood trim is cracking from age. Honestly, that wood looks totally out of place in the Turbo’s cabin so maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to replace it entirely. The PCM head unit seems to be working as it should and features a cassette player as well as a six-disc CD changer.

All 996 Turbos started with the C4 chassis, so the car is full-time AWD. This one spins its tires by way of a five-speed Tiptronic transmission. Also, it should be noted that the 996 Turbo uses the “Metzger” engine and not the M96 of the lesser 911s. That engine has a totally different setup for its intermediate shaft and does not suffer from failures in the way non-turbo engines can. In fact, the Turbo engines are generally considered to be pretty rock-solid and reasonably trouble-free.

All that comes with a clean title and a $55,000 asking price. The seller says that prospective buyers better come with proof of funding or they won’t get a test drive. That’s kind of classist, but who are we to argue?

Instead, we’re here to judge. Let’s do that right now. What’s your take on this RUF-enhanced 911 Turbo and that $55,000 price tag? Does that seem like a deal to quickly get a fairly fast car? Or, does that price put you off any test drives?

Ann Arbor, Michigan, Craigslist , or go here if the ad disappears.

Help me out with NPOND. Hit me up at rob@jalopnik.com and send me a fixed-price tip. Remember to include your Kinja handle.